Grade 10 Glimpses of a Durian

Imagery is a must have literary device in BOTH of your creative pieces.  Think about the subject of your writing as though it were a foreign object to your audience.

Be descriptive.  Appeal to the senses!

All work must be printed for Monday’s class (short story 500 words, other piece optional length).  Be sure to include foreshadowing and metaphor too!

Each ‘glimpse’ must be BASED on one of your own real-life experiences involving an IB LP attribute.

Have you thought about looking at the attribute from a different angle?

It would certainly make for a great poem.  Examine your own experience of any IB LP attribute through a few of these perspectives..

20 responses to “Grade 10 Glimpses of a Durian

  1. LOST(still in progress)

    In summer I was in a cruise with my family to bangkok and I was enjoying my holiday back then. The cruise was a dream and I can’t imagine how amazing it is. This cruise named TItania and It is the best cruise to travel on the sea. The sound of the waves has a beautiful rawr of a tiger. The view of the sea while enjoying the sunset falling down is one of the best moment of my life because it cleans all my bad memories. Dolphins were hopping around the cruise and I could sense their greetings on me. I was felt high watching and experiencing the cruise amazing facilities. My heart was exhausted enjoying the dream of mine. The clouds were shaping it self and it appeared a signal for me that a rhino is coming. Since then I keep trying to figure it out what is the signal means. the heart of mine beats like a beast and hesitate every second. My dad asked me what is going on with me and I told my dad death is coming. My dad was silenced for 5 minute and look at my eyes. First thing he said was “Are you having a nightmare?”. After 3 second my dad realize I was not breathing and my body was paralyzed. He ran and search for help as fast as he can. I had a dead body back then but my soul was still there and my words still coming out from my mouth. My dad was freaking out but still he was shock and asked for help. I dreamed a huge wave charging towards our cruise as a rhino charging its opponent. I knew it was not a dream.

    Next day, I opened my eye and it was dark and my face was shallow. I had no space to move my body. I was in a coffin and I was in a funeral located in the cruise. My travel schedule with my family was staying in the cruise for one week straight. I heard tears falling down as a raindrop splashing to my ears. That moment I moved the coffin with my shoulder and it was absolute silence.

  2. It was a beautiful Friday, The school bell have just went off. As soon as we heard it we rushed in my car headed to my house. Imagine 6 people in one car! Not counting the driver. I didnt really had a problem with that, me and my bestfriend Rosalene and River sat in the Boot, it was really specious not to mention we were 10 and were really small. While my older sister and her friend Axel sat in the front and was complaining how squashed they were.
    About an hour drive we finally arrive in my house. The very first thing we did was getting changed to swim. In the pool we started playing games like Marco Polo and the rescue games. In between the games Rosalene yelled out “Cloe, do a backflip”
    i instantly thought that was such a good idea for me to do, this is my chance to show off my flips to Axel who i had an ultimate crush on since i first saw him. So i did it. I jumped but i didnt remember landing. I sat down on the pool edge as i stare at Axel and the others, their face was all surprised like i was an Olympian who just broke the world record. I started to feel so dizzy, not an ordinary dizzy though more of being spin in full speed on a chair. Drips of water was still running down my face from the water, but this time felt thicker somehow
    I started to get worried as they stand their being a statue staring at me. Axel was pointing at my head but didnt really say anything while my sister started to cry “Cloe, oh my god, are you okay? You’re bleeding” Axel went out of the pool and carried me out instantly. My water drips was not water, It was my blood running down my face. I felt so scared that i thought i was about to die from losing so much blood.
    “Cloe, you’re going to be alright. You did a backflip but you landed outside the pool. You hit your head on the edge. You need to go to the doctor” Said Axel gently.
    As i started to panic and cry as i heard his last sentence. the Doctors were my fear. I’ve never had an accident every in my life. I knew i was going to get stitches. i told Axel that i didnt want to go and that im terrified. He insisted and he tried everyway to make me comfortable. it didnt take awhile until he convinced me. He asked to volunteer and company me in the hospital. He hold my hand all the way. He kept making me smile everytime he knows when i was about to cry.

    • The droplets of blood offer you a great opportunity as a writer to REALLY use Imagery. Describe the color, and the smells too!

  3. Tired, and challenging trip,
    but we weren’t alone.
    Communicate and caring we did,
    we helped out each other.
    The sound of caring surrounded us,
    there was more caring than saying.
    Encouraging and supporting,
    that’s what keeps us going.
    Asked if need help,
    that’s when new friendship was born.
    Whenever needing help,
    always there to answer the call.
    The sound of caring surrounded us,
    there was more caring than knowing.
    The caring was like the rain,
    and falls upon us.

  4. IB Learner Profile: Risk taker (short story)

    – There I was, amongst a crowd of untamed beasts feasting their eyes on me. I didn’t expect it to be this unnerving 5 minutes ago, definitely not. Vigilantly, I got closer and closer, I was a bit scared but hey, you only live once. In a matter of seconds I managed to overcome my anxiety. By doing this I helped others feel a bit better as well, it’s a psychological thing. Things were going well and the suddenly i heard this deafening scream. I looked over to the other side and saw an elderly woman holding her chest in solace. Apparently, one of the lions tried to strip her off her precious bag, i smiled. The guide then lead us towards another group of sunbathing lions. At this point, I was much more calm and composed than i was 8 minutes ago. It felt good. And then, before you know it, it was time for us to take pictures. In case you didn’t know i hate taking pictures. But this was special,

  5. Boom!Bang!Smash! Running around the house breaking things, we were having fun. It was just an ordinary weekend. My cousins and I always got together in my uncle’s gigantic yellow house with a blue top that was built by my great-great-great-grand father. It’s got 3 floors and a basement. Outside the house there is a big front yard with just a tall tree and some grass. There was also a dark creepy forest behind the house. Every weekend I would go to their house to play. Since we lived in a small village in a countryside, there wasn’t much things to do. All we could do is run around the big house or just lay down on the grass and watch the beautiful blue sky. Therefore my cousins and I were always curious about new things.

    One time a bird nested on the tree in the front yard. The oldest cousin, Dally got so excited and called all of us.
    “ Hey guys! Come over here! There is a bird nest on our tree!”
    “ Really? I’ll go get a ladder!”
    “ Tell daddy to set up the telescope in my room!”
    My cousins got really thrilled to see the birds. I was also curious about how the birds look like. To us, every new creature was a new toy. We went up to Dally’s room to see what the birds look like. We watched the birds through the telescope.
    “ Why does it open the mouth all the time?”
    “ Why doesn’t it have so many feathers?”
    “ What does it eat?”
    The youngest cousin, Julie, asked a bunch of questions. She was astonished by the bird. It was her first time to see a bird so close. The three of us always ______.

    Same boring days went by and finally it was summer vacation. What was different was only the fact that we didn’t go to school. One sunny day, we got so bored. We couldn’t stand the boredom. The same repetitive days were killing us. We needed something new to do. All of us got together. We talked about things that we could do. Then I suggested to go to the forest.
    “ Why don’t we go to the forest just behind the house?”
    “ Sure, I wonder what will be there. Let’s go!”
    “ Yes! It’s going to be so much fun! I always wanted to explore the forest!”
    Everyone agreed so we packed our bags. In our backpacks, we carried a torch, a medical kit with some bandages, and some food. We were all ready to go. We always wanted to go to the forest but we were kind of scared about what kinds of creatures will be there.
    “ Let’s keep this a secret to our parents. They won’t let us go if they knew about it.”
    “ Okay. Let’s go now! I can’t wait to see what’s in that creepy looking forest!”
    We made sure that none our parents knew about our plan because we were pretty sure that they would stop us saying that it’s ‘dangerous’. Dally and I were really excited. It was almost like the first day of kindergarten, where you go to a totally mysterious place and you don’t know what will be there. However, Julie didn’t seem just excited. She looked a bit nervous. In her words, she felt like going to a dentist inside an amusement park. We walked for no longer than ten minutes and finally arrived at the entrance of the forest.

  6. 500 words short story

    It is in the middle of November, and we’re going on a trip to Whitecreek, a town near the Rockies, to fish. We know it isn’t a good time to bike in the winter, but my friends insisted we must reach Whitecreek by evening and that time no bus was operating, luckily all of us are bikers and we love mountain biking. So, we finally made a decision to bike to Whitecreek. I prepared my bike. I changed my headlights and also checked my tire pressure. I still feel uncomfortable but I think this is going to be a good experience, nothings going to go wrong, I thought.
    “Alan, are you sure we can’t wait until tomorrow?” I asked
    “No Chris, lets just go today. The roads are less crowded, tomorrow’s Sunday, the busses will be full and we couldn’t bike because the roads are crowded” he replied
    “Well you’re right. I’ll ask Theo and James to prepare our fishing rods.” I said
    Right after breakfast, we departed. At first it seems like it is going to be a good weather all day long with clear skies, but as we get near the mountain, the wind blows hard. The roads were full of turns, it is quite challenging in a windy day. The wheels of the bikes screech, gasping for traction from the asphalt as I slammed the brake. The cold breeze slowly dries my lips. I can see in the distance, snow.
    I didn’t change my chains and I forgot to give my brakes the anti ice spray to prevent it from jamming because of the frost. The temperature indicator on my GPS shows that it is already -6 degrees. I can feel the chains getting stiffer and stiffer. I can’t change gears anymore. The roads get steeper and steeper, now it is about 28 degrees, my rear wheel started to spin due to frost on the asphalt. The sun is about to set in 2 hours and we still got around 30 miles of uphill, S shaped, windy roads to go.
    As I reached 1200 feet above sea level, snow started to fall and slip inside my
    Helmet. Now I really can feel the cold. My friends are also having troubles; Alan added too much tire pressure to his front wheel, causing loss of traction in turns. Chris’s front brake accidentally gets oil from the oil he used to defrost the tires, making it useless.
    We were 10 miles from Whitecreek when the roads started to go downhill, which is good at summer, but a setback at winter. The icy roads, as slippery as a banana on an icy pond, added with our tire, chain, and braking problems, was a catastrophe.

    • This story is really coming along. Can you do more with the windy roads? Allow your reader to feel as though s/he is riding along too.

  7. Risk Taker

    Being a risk taker means to do something you have never done before. As an ordinary teenager, I have faced several times when I need to become a risk taker and try new things. Being risk-taker doesn’t mean that you have to do motocross biking or surfing, it means trying something you haven’t try before that you don’t know what effect it will bring to you.

    A week ago, I was camping with my schoolmates in Mt. Gede. It was the first time I slept in a sleeping bag in a tent, which shows myself a risk-taker. It was the first day, and we still didn’t know the basic things we are going to do the next couple of days.

    Unfortunately for some of us, it was going to be hiking the next day. We split the jobs that we are going to do for the next day. The most challenging task is to become the sweeper of the day. There were 3 sweepers, and all of them need to make sure that there is no trashes or member of the group left behind. I took the risk to become one of the sweepers.

    In the morning, all of the sweepers had some discussion.
    “So, everyone of us should take 3 person each. Raqi, which group are you going to take care of?” I started the discussion.
    “I will take care of the first 3 person. I am the leader, I need to be in front, isn’t that right” asked Raqi.
    “Yes. Then I will take the last group of people.” Andre answering Raqi’s question.
    “I will take the third group” Gary respond to Andre. “Ok then, I will take the second group. Are you happy of this arrangement?” Gary, Raqi and Andre said “Yes” simultaneously.

    Things happened that day, and our plan was broken into pieces. We forgot to count the factor that some people wanted to be fast and some people didn’t have the stamina to follow the others. As the third sweeper went fast to follow the groups member that wanted to reach the top faster, I had a conversation with the second sweeper, Gary:
    “Gary, where is Andre? Do you see him? This group should be his responsibility.”
    “I don’t know. I think he tried to catch up the others.”
    “Then we need to take care of them. Chika and Alia is tired. I think we should help them. I’ll bring the heaviest one. Chika’s bag is lighter. Bring it Gary, I’ll bring Alia’s bag.”
    With our help, Alia and Chika can finally reach the first checkpoint. We took rest for a few minutes and took some pictures.

    After several minutes of break, we continued the journey. Again, the third sweeper went faster to catch up with the others and left us (Gary and me) with no choice.
    “I don’t think we have enough energy to help Alia and Chika. We can’t bring their bags, but we can push them. Gary, take responsibility of Alia and Chika, I’ll take care of Sumi. It is easier to help Alia and Chika. I’ll help Sumi.”
    “Wait, are you gonna be okay?”
    “I’ll be okay. Just go, take care of Alia and Chika.”

    • See what you can do to incorporate imagery. Describe what the ground under your feet felt like. What did the strain of the hike FEEL like?

  8. The royal fleet of Britannia docked by the shores of Germania. Black clouds roam over the skies, creating a blend with dark ships of the royal fleet. Birds flying away in huge flocks. Hundreds of battalion filled with knights are ready in their mustangs to march with their glorious king. I couldn’t see the glory of bloodshed, even if you’re marching with a king. A king who’s crippled. A king who looked so much like the enemy’s leader.

    It was a painful process of getting onto my white mustang. My hips were aching badly and the royal physician can’t seem to do anything about it. I have to survive the next few days of ride to the borders of Germania and Gallia, which at least prove to the men that their king can ride a bloody horse. I have a dozen imperial guards and banners of my royalty flown on each side. I don’t know how it looks like from the view point of those kneeling down, but it’s certainly inglorious and painful from my sights. I was leading them to their deaths.

    Once I reached the higher grounds, one of my generals shouted out, “All hail the King, guardian of faith, protector of Britannia, glorious Emperor of Germania and our shepherd through the darkness of war!!” without hesitation, hundreds of thousands of men shouted “All hail the King, our light within the dark!”

    Unfortunately I felt like I’ve done nothing to illuminate their path. In fact, all I felt like I’m illuminating their path to death. In other words to darkness. There’s no guarantee that we’d return home gloriously, with shining armor, sleek horse, flowers thrown to our horses and gold carried by 20 horses. All I can do was reluctantly sit on my white horse, forcing a smile behind the pain caused by my crippled hip.

  9. Creative Writing Draft 2:
    Dr. Light. A Genius without match and my creator. It has been 5 years since his disappearance. The Mavericks have been on the run since that day. But here I am today, in a mission to rescue all the Mavericks, to rescue all my friends before their systems get more attached to the virus. I jumped down from the helicopter and landed on the park in the middle of Neo-City. There have been sights of a large android in here, but I didn’t realize that he can do this much damage. Rogue robots everywhere. The virus have spread throughout the entire city. The humans have evacuated into an airship, leaving no traces of organic matter behind. Cars and other electronics were abandoned in this deserted city. I prepared my Rock-Buster and scanned the entire city’s perimeter. Then, a silhouette of a fast moving robot appeared. He’s here. I began moving towards his location, geared up. Suddenly, all the rogue robots turned to look at me.

    I stopped. The city was suddenly quiet, until they began to emit sparks and took out their weapons. They look modified, someone must’ve given them these weapons. Even a Nanny-Bot got a chainsaw in a hand and a plasma gun in the other. Sigh. Must I always face these drones before getting towards my target. I held up my Buster and released my shot in the direction of the fountain. Before any of the robots could react to the large water explosion, I took out my Proto-Sword and dashed at the nearest robots. Using my super-sonic speed and a laser blade to boot, I easily cut most of the robots in my area with ease. But, it isn’t over yet.

    My scanner detects a large flock of flying droids coming in the direction of the chaos I made. I was ready for more. Switching back to my Rock-Buster, I began shooting rapidly at these flying automatons. Then, without warning one of the sliced robots began releasing smokescreens. My accuracy suddenly dropped down to a near 0.1% chance of hitting the incoming reinforcements. I have no choice but to run away from this area. Then, they caught up with me. The flying drones weren’t like any normal city-robots. They had spikes all over their outer shell and started plummeting into the ground, barely missing me. Why Dr. Light? Why did you create the virus? Why did you let VIle go, even if you knew he was going to have his revenge?

    I’ve had enough. I turned back and started shooting at the drones, leaving a trail of smoke behind each one that was destroyed and exploded. Then, more of them flew through the cloud of smoke and continued chasing me. I kept on running until I reached a

  10. 500 Words:

    Headaches. Must have been the hangover. I opened my eyes and got a good look of my surrounding. It’s pretty gray here. I can see the paint have peeled off from the walls. Quite a depressing sight. Wonder what happened to the others? Don’t tell me.. Crap, they bailed out on me.

    I put my head to side and enjoyed the scenery of stained alcohol, dried puke and empty cups. Dear God my head is heavy like my laundry on Sunday mornings. I put my feet down and sat in the sofa I slept, for a while. For a dusty old couch, it’s pretty soft and comfy. I took my phone out and checked if there was any important events today. Oh lookie it’s a saturday and it’s the end of the year, feels good to wake up as a graduate.

    It’s funny how the previous owners thought a graffiti of ‘Beware of Haunted House’ is going to scare looters and hobos. Getting drunk on an abandoned mansion? It’s a new experience alright.

    I got up from the dusty couch and began to walk outside, toward the stairs. “Is anyone there?”, huh? A voice? It seems to be coming from behind. I looked back and it seems to be coming from the left door. The door was crummy and the handle was dirty. To touch or not to touch? Touch. I grabbed the handle and tried to open it. But it was locked. Good job dumbass you managed to get your hands dirty for a useless inanimate object.

    “Who are you?” I asked the door.

    “It’s uh.. James. Mary’s friend? Remember?” he said.

    “I don’t remember you..” this is why I hate talking to people after a night of tequila.

    “You must have drunk too much. Never mind that. Can you help me with something?”

    Wow asking for favors to a guy who drank 7 shots and a bottle of tequila, way to go buddy. “Sure. What is it?”

    “I want to hunt the ghost of this mansion”

    “What?” Did I hear what I just think I hear?

    “Yes, ghost hunting. I didn’t come here just for booze you know”

    I’m having goosebumps. Ghosts? In this mansion? Dammit I should have paid attention to symbolisms that surrounds me! This is must be karma for sleeping in Literary class.

    “How do you know there is a ghost?”

    “Some of your friends.. She killed them all. I locked myself in this door and trying to find any witchcraft books or some sort, it’s a pretty huge library”

    I froze. I never had a good relationship with ghosts, I hate ghosts. Pale long haired women.. Damn you Japanese horror movies! I grabbed a vase prepare to throw any time now. Then I realized how stupid this is. Ghosts aren’t real and I put the vase down. Then I replied

    “Ghosts aren’t real dude. If you need someone to help you with your ghost hunting crap. Do it yourself.”

    I walked away from the door and I saw a figure across the hallway. The figure seems to be tall and thin. Must be woman. She begins to move forward and as she walked she reveals her pale skin and messed up skin. Her hair is long like the movies and walks very slowly towards me. Crap crap crap. I ran back to the door and screamed.

    “Hey! Open up!” I raised my tone. There was no answer and I began to hit the door. “She’s right here man! The ghost!”, she got closer and she begins to take a cleaver from her back. Still no answer, I made a kung fu pose. “Be careful ghost I know karate!” I don’t actually know karate, but it somewhat helps with the current situation.

    She began to walk briskly. Crap crap crap. I closed my eyes since I know it’s probably the end of me. I heard the door clicked opened and I opened my eyes. Her black eyes stared deeply to mine, she was close and I can hear her deep breath. In the last second I kicked her in the uterus and ran towards the door. The door was open and I closed it. I can hear plenty of banging of the door and her hands began to burst from the door. The room to what I think might be a library or some sort. I used my left hand to close the door and began grabbing the table next to me to block the door. I began to hear noises from the radio I picked up earlier.

    “Told you” he said.

    “Very funny man! She’s outside the library!” my heart was racing.

    “Alright there should be a dumbwaiter around the corner that will take you to the basement” he sounded calm, how is this even possible?!

    I spotted some sort metal door, I ran, slide and conquered. It opened and I activated the button on the right side. She broke in and managed to grab my leg. I grabbed the grills on the back of the to support myself and kicked her in the face. It knocked her down and the dumb waiter closed itself.

    Holy crap, that was terrifying.

    “Still there?” his voice, I never felt so relieved.

    “Yeah. Who was she?!”

    “Her? That’s the ghost I’m hunting”

    “Care to give me more details?” I was sweating as if I ran a marathon. The dumb waiter is small but I can live with it. Damn I wish there is a light somewhere.

    “She’s an evil spirit, called Rama”

    “What’s an evil spirit doing here?”

    “She was summoned, accidentally at least”

    “By who?”

    “It’s a tragic story actually and quite long one too..”

    “So as this dumb waiter”

    “Alright. This mansion is owned by a man called Baldwin. Baldwin was very wealthy but he wasn’t a happy man. He could afford anything in the world but not happiness. He wasn’t an attractive man, so he wasn’t very lucky with the women. So he decided to adopt a child. That child he adopted was a girl called ‘Heather’. They had a good relationship together and Baldwin was happy. Until one day Baldwin dies because of a heart attack when he was working in his personal library. She found the body and was traumatized. She missed him badly, that she used his inheritance to try to resurrect him.”

    My goodness “It didn’t end well didn’t it?”

    “Yeah.. Instead of summoning his spirit, she summoned another spirit ‘Rama’. Rama killed her and now she resides here in this very mansion.”

    I could hear a huge thump, the dumb waiter must have stopped.

    “How do we stop it?” Rama.. She’ll pay for this.

    “There should be a witchcraft (not finished)

    • What an adventure!
      “Very funny man! She’s outside the library!” my heart was racing.
      This is a key moment for imagery. Really let your reader SENSE how the narrator feels.

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